


I Prefer Blondes

by jennandblitz



Series: Just a Jeepster for Your Love [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Drabble, Fluff, I ADORE THEM, M/M, Post-Hogwarts, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Remus Lupin POV, These Idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25203865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandblitz/pseuds/jennandblitz
Summary: Prank wars can get out of hand in the Marauders' flat.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Just a Jeepster for Your Love [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1389226
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	I Prefer Blondes

“JAMES!”

Sirius’ voice echoes through the flat as he storms out of the tiny excuse for a bathroom, towel around his waist and murder in his expression. If Remus wasn’t so preoccupied by the way the floorboards are shaking with Sirius’ footfalls, or making sure his boyfriend’s wand isn’t within reach so he doesn’t do something stupid, he would’ve gone a little weak-kneed by the broad swath of Sirius’ shoulders (still damp from the shower), or the line of muscle just beside his hipbone.

James, the apparent target of said imminent murder, is pretending to make tea in the corner of the kitchen. Remus knows he can’t, and that he’s somewhat scared of the Muggle kettle, so he’s just clanging the cups and teaspoons around for effect. It doesn’t work.

“Yes, Padfoot?” James says, bright and almost falsetto.

“You little git. You Niffler-loving Skrewt, you slimy little fucker. _What did you do?”_

Just in case it isn’t blindingly obvious, Sirius flaps one hand—tipped in chipped black polish—towards his hair. Instead of the usual inky black strands that Remus loves to wrap around his fingers when they’re falling asleep, Sirius’ hair is platinum blonde, and floating around his head like some kind of halo; it gives entirely the wrong impression.

“Oh, that.” James blinks at his best friend as if he’s only just notices the sudden change. “I don’t know Padfoot, must’ve used some strange potion by accident, huh?” He grins inanely, pushes his glasses back onto his nose with a sharp movement.

“Bullshit, you lying little Doxy. You pranked me!” Sirius waves an arm, grabs the teaspoon from James’ hand and waves that instead.

James grins and shrugs one shoulder.

Remus lets out a little chuckle from his ring-side seat on the sofa. He’s meant to be editing this article for the Quibbler, but instead he’s distracted by the idea of inventing some kind of spell to turn all the Bertie Bott’s in a packet into vomit flavoured, and that will be Yule gifts sorted. Perhaps to everyone else, James and Sirius are the pranksters, but Remus pulls his damn weight. That chuckle though, is his undoing.

Sirius whirls around, still brandishing the teaspoon. “Moony! Did you just laugh? You think this is funny?”

Remus just shrugs, shaking his head. “No, no, Padfoot… well, come on, it’s a little funny. You look like a Malfoy.”

Sirius gestures to his hair again, then his shoulders slump, dejected. “I look like my _cousin_.”

James grimaces over his shoulder, then finally abandons the tea rouse. “Well, maybe you should think twice about Sticking Charming my bedroom furniture to the ceiling in the future, mate.”

“Oh ha ha,” Sirius mutters, crossing his arms. “That was to get you back for turning my bodily fluids glittery green for a week.”

Remus lets out another laugh, closer to a cackle this time as he remembers the bizarre handjob that enabled that discovery. Sirius hears the laugh this time and shoots Remus a smirk that makes him weak-kneed now, no matter how preoccupied.

“And that,” James continues, dragging Remus from that memory, “was to get you back for you getting my favourite scarf with a Gibberish Charm. I nearly got sacked!”

“I’m not listening to you two recounting every damn prank since first year,” Remus says, laughing around the words. “Call it even. Truce for a month?”

“Once he gives me the counter charm.”

“Not a chance.”

Sirius groans, then storms off to the bedroom. Apparently this conversation has gotten a little too heated to be standing in a towel. But, not done, Sirius reappears in ripped black jeans and a Led Zepplin shirt. “Prongs, I’m going to kill you in your sleep,” he says, flopping down onto the arm of the sofa next to Remus.

James snickers and goes back to the kitchen—perhaps to try his hand at actually making tea.

“I look like Narcissa, Moony.” Sirius flops down so his head is on Remus’ shoulder. He’s too tall to be tucked in the corner like this, so his legs are haphazard over the arm.

“It’s a good thing then,” Remus murmurs into the white-blond hair currently tickling his nose. “That someone might have caught James charming the shampoo, and might have bribed the counter-charm out of him.”

Sirius perks up, staring at Remus with wide eyes. Remus _knows,_ beneath the bravado and the fact he’s probably hungover to all hell, that Sirius hates anything that reminds him of his family, and Remus would wager a more than passing resemblance to Narcissa and her vile husband would irk him.

“You do?” Sirius’ hands go to Remus’ shoulders and shake him a little. “Merlin, Moony, I fucking adore you. Turn me back to my usual ravishing self.”

“No.” Remus hides a smile.

Sirius squawks. “Why!?”

“I prefer blondes.”

“MOONY!” Sirius smacks a hand on his shoulder, but Remus just laughs, unable to keep the facade up. As soon as he does, Sirius softens, realising he’s joking and one corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk. “C’mon Moons, don’t let me look like a Malfoy.”

Remus rolls his eyes, but picks his wand up from where he’d been using it as a bookmark. He tangles his other hand in Sirius’ hair, and murmurs the counter charm to watch it turn back to the deepest black against his skin.

Sirius’ smile widens. “You’re a gem,” he says, and leans down to kiss Remus.

There’s a clatter from the kitchen, then a disgusted noise from James. “Teaming up is against the prank war rules!”


End file.
